After reading Carrie's post about single-parent-families, I was left thinking about how I got here, or rather, how I didn't become a single parent.
Let's start at the beginning.
It was around April 2012, when I discovered I was pregnant. I didn't know if I should keep the baby, before I got to how and when to tell my parents.
Pregnancy happens when an egg is fertilised by a sperm. That's it. It takes two parties for this to happen, whether either party is willing or not. When I got pregnant, I couldn't stop crying and I realised why one day. It wasn't the guilt of killing of my own child that going to kill me, it was the thought of not being with it. That's when I decided I'd keep it, or we'll end everything together.
As it turns out, deciding to keep the baby was the easiest decision for me. Endless comments about expensive diapers and formula never stopped coming from my mother. There was so much pressure from other family members too, about making a decision.
I almost gave up.
I weighed my options; marriage or single-parenthood. Money was the last concern on my mind. It'd work out financially, if I try hard and smart enough. I didn't and couldn't let my child grow up with stigma of having a single mother. Our society is hard and selfish. Maybe we're getting kinder, I wouldn't know for sure. I became selfish. I didn't want my struggle to be my daughter's struggle.
I don't know how many of such marriages like mine ended up in divorce. I don't know if mine will turn out that way too. Although I've never been happier in my life, I have made a lot of sacrifices and lead a life very different from my peers.
If you can't deal with parenthood now, be smart about your actions.
If unexpected events happen and you're left in this position, deal with it. No one else can do it for you.
Bottom line, pregnancy is a reaction to actions and parenthood is a responsibility. Marriage, pregnancy and parenthood are three co-related, but completely different things.
Learn from my mistake.
